I, Introvert

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I came across a picture that a friend of mine posted on Facebook that embodies the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” BAM! As I get closer to the age where it is appropriate to walk the mall and rant on and on about my ever increasing prostate, I am starting to FINALLY get comfortable in my skin. I think an advantage to getting comfortable in this meat sack is not feeling awkward or bad for the things in life that I like and don’t like. No, I am talking about getting comfortable licking premium grade maple syrup off freshly paved roads, but assertively saying, “Yes… No… Maybe…So… I don’t like that… I do like that… No means occasionally when I don’t have a headache… Please go away… Die please.” So if I can show you a picture and use as few words as possible to get you to understand me, more power to me! Look at pictures and like it!

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If you have not guessed by now, I am an Introvert.

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Other quirks that may or may not have to do with my particular introversion:

Image* I value simple observation. If I am doing something, like tapping away on the keyboard, watching T.V, field dressing a cat, inserting razors into candy bars for the children, performing an autopsy, playing a video game, etc. I really want you to catch on. Please don’t ask me what I am doing when simple observation will give you the answer.

Examples:

  1. If you see me in my exercise clothes, iPod armband, and towel in hand and I am walking out the door, then you can assume that I am going to go do some type of exercise. If you ask me what I am about to do, a graphic thought will occur in my head and a nasty feeling will spreads through my body but, because of the society that we live in, I cannot act out what is in my head.
  2. If you see me walk into a bathroom with clean clothes and a towel in hand, you may assume that I am going to partake in some sort of cleansing ritual. If you ask me what I am about to do, a graphic thought will occur in my head and a nasty feeling will spread throughout my body and, because of the society that we live in, I cannot act out what is in my head.
  3. If I am sitting in front of the T.V with a controller and an engaged look on my face, you may assume that I am playing a video game. If you ask me what I’m doing, a graphic thought will occur in my head and a nasty feeling will spread throughout my body and, because of the society that we live in, I cannot act out what is in my head. → An acceptable question would be, “What game are you playing?”

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* I do not socialize when I am out shopping. This is particularly true in grocery stores. The reason I don’t like to talk in stores is because it’s a surprise. I don’t like too many surprises. Then there’s the awkward conversation starter, “Funny seeing you here. What are you doing here?!” If you see me out shopping, approach me and ask what I am doing, a graphic thought will occur in my head and a nasty feeling will spread throughout my body and, because of the society that we live in, I cannot act out what is in my head.

What makes marketplace exchanges so horrible is that we eventually have to end the awkward conversation only to bump into each other a few aisles down. I instantly Imagethink I am obligated to acknowledge you again and say something. To avoid all of this, when I see people I know when I am out shopping, friend or foe, I avoid them. Unless you are close family, a very very close friend I haven’t seen in at least 3 years, or you have, in the past, bequeathed to me one of your kidneys, I will avoid you. Do NOT take it personally. If you do corner me and attempt to engage in small chit chat, then you must be able to put up with me sweating, shifting my weight between my feet, and me potentially saying something that does not make sense and could be considered weird. Again, please don’t be offended if I avoid you like the plague when I’m out and about. I want to get what I came for and leave.

* If you invite me to a party or a gathering of peoples, expect me to use you like a flotation device from the Titanic. Large groups of people that I don’t know might as well a pride of ravenous lions. I will go to these events but never on my own. If you leave me to go socialize on your own, I will slash your tires.

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* If we don’t know each other, and you are in my house, then I am going to either stay in my room or wait for my roomie to introduce me to you. I am nervous around new people.

 Over the years, I have been able to develop some social skills that cope for my weaknesses, so I am not some cowering antisocial recluse. These just happen to be some of my uncanny proclivities.  Close friends will know inroads around my quirks, but ONLY close friends.

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*** Picture made and posted by SchroJones.  http://schrojones.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Live-with-Introverts-291305760

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